Thursday, June 23, 2011

my story, untold.

Friday February 27, 1987 my mom gave birth to her last child, yours truly! Yep I'm the youngest of five and I was spoiled rotten! I lived a good life in a happy home. Both my parents had good jobs, I lived in a safe neighborhood and I had a lot of friends. Growing up I was the typical drama filled teenager. I was boy crazy and all I wanted to do was talk on the phone. I spent most of my time either in my room or at my friends house in their room. When I turned 16 I got my first job at an Ice Cream Parlor. I got my first car for Christmas that year and had the world at my fingertips. A week after I turned 16 I met a boy named Shawn. He lived 3 hours away. I was a sophomore, he was a senior. We talked all day every day. E-mails, MSN messenger, phone calls, even letters. He would visit me every couple of months for a few days and we were always inseparable when he did. There was one problem, my parents didn't approve! They wanted me to date around, date boys that lived in the same city as me. But I didn't want to date anyone else. I wanted to date Shawn!! We had been dating long distance for a year and a half and I remember being at work at the ice cream shop. It was after hours and my co-worker and I were doing our closing duties. I was on the phone with Shawn while cleaning up when he told me that he loved me for the first time. I had never been in love before, not even thoughts of being in love. It took me completely by surprise! I didn't even say it back! I didn't know what love felt like and wasn't sure if I was in love. But I finally said it back to him and it felt right. I did love him!  We continued dating for another year. I was still in high school and he had graduated so he was able to visit more often. I was two months away from turning 18 and it was New Years Eve. We were up on the airport hill when he proposed to me. It was picture perfect. Fireworks in the background, city lights below us and the man I loved was proposing. I said yes. I was a high school student with a fiance'. No one thought it would work, they all said we were too young. But what do teenagers do when challenged? Rebel! I graduated from high school and moved up to be closer to Shawn. I spent another year dating him and was the happiest girl in the world! I had a good job and I was going to school. I had friends and I was planning a wedding! I had it all! Until that night came. Shawn's entire family was gathered in the living room at his Dad's house playing the playstation. A fight broke out between Shawn and his brother, things were said and I was left in tears! I moved back home that weekend. I was mortified, embarrassed and had a broken heart! All I could do to pass the time was to work. I worked and worked and worked!! I was working one morning and ran into an old high school friend. We got to talking and exchanged phone numbers. We hung out that night. We played miniature golf. I won! We hung out every night after that.. But I still had my fiance' 3 hours away. We were still together but our relationship was on the rocks. I remember every detail about this day, the chair I was sitting in with my knees up watching tv. My dad noticed something was wrong so I told him everything. He gave me his fatherly advice and I knew exactly what I had to do.. I picked up my pink cell phone and dialed his number. I broke up with Shawn for a guy I had been seeing for 3 weeks! Just like that. I felt like such a biotch but I couldn't help my feelings for Jeff. Jeff and I moved pretty quickly. Too quickly! This is the part of my life that I'm not proud of.. I grew up in a very religious household. I knew the religion so well and I fell away from it. I put Jeff before anything and everyone! Even myself. We started experimenting with each other and going "too far". I started partying with him and his friends. Did things I shouldn't have! Things I would of done differently if I could. But I definitely learned from it! We dated for only six months when he proposed. We fell hard and fast for each other!! We loved each other but now I know it was lust. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Ever! After being together for a year and a half I got a job at Texas Roadhouse. I found out via text message that Jeff had been cheating on me since week 3 of our relationship and I was crushed! And I worked with the girl.. Awkward!! That's when the fighting began. We had never ever had a fight until now. For the next six months we broke up and got back together every other week. So annoying and so pathetic but I couldn't let him go! I couldn't stand the thought of him being with anyone else. I've never been a jealous girl but I was so jealous at that time! Even knowing he was cheating on me I couldn't walk away. I tried my hardest every day to keep him! October 2007 I started talking to an old middle school crush, Dave. He was currently serving in the United States Air Force and was deployed to Saudi Arabia. We talked as much as we could but it wasn't very often. He was there for me, he listened and comforted me. Jeff had brought me to an all time low in my life and Dave was keeping me from falling apart completely! Dave got back to the states that January and I was still with Jeff on and off. Dave and I texted and talked every day and oh how the tables turned!! Jeff found out and became incredibly jealous, clingy, and needy and all I wanted to do was talk to Dave. I purposely ignored Jeff's calls, texts and visits. At this point I worked at a spa and was always busy with clients so I had no time to sit and talk relationship stuff. My job was my life! I finally broke it off with Jeff but we were still hanging out. He was trying to win me back but I just couldn't take anymore heartache. It was my birthday and I was going to dinner with my very close friend Cory. Cory had been there through it all. He hated Jeff from day one, didn't mind Shawn and wanted to meet Dave. Talk about confusing! Dave had sent me an enormous bouquet of gorgeous roses with the cutest note attached to them. That's what did it for me. I realized just how much Dave really cared. Dave knew Jeff from high school so he knew just how big of a jerk he really was and along with Cory he hated him. I decided to make the 17 hour drive to Texas to visit Dave. I drove and drove and drove and that's what it took to finally get over Jeff. Dave and I had an instant attraction. We got along so well and we couldn't stop laughing when we were with each other. He made me happy! My parents adored him and I loved his family. Things were finally just where I wanted them, I thought.. Being raised Mormon, I always knew right from wrong. Dave and I had went too far one night and our lives were about to change forever! It was time for me to go back home to Utah and get back to my normal life. I drove all the way to Albuquerque and got a hotel for the night. I got on the phone with Dave and decided we didn't want to be apart from each other. Stayed the night and got back on the road. Texas bound! My parents actually took it really well. They wanted me to be with Dave. A couple weeks had gone by and I started getting sick to my stomach. No throwing up but just an upset stomach. It lasted four days then went away. No big deal just a stomach bug. Dave came home from work one day with a bag in his hand.. Inside was a little pink box. A pregnancy test?! Oh yes he forced me to take it. And after a few hours of arguing about it I finally just took the stupid thing!! Positive! All I remember was sitting on the kitchen floor crying my little green eyes out. Dave sat next to me with his arms around me. We were terrified! Called my parents and told them the news, the knew it was bound to happen. His parents were ecstatic! I took two more home pregnancy tests and still didn't believe it. Got a test done at a doctors office and still didn't believe! Went on base and got blood work done. When that one came back positive I finally accepted it. I was going to be a mom and I was only 21! I wasn't even married yet! My parents, Dave's parents and Dave all wanted us to get married. The only problem? I had no interest in getting married!! None whatsoever! I liked Dave, a lot, but I wasn't in love with him. It took a few months to talk me into it (doesn't that sound just awful?) but we finally got engaged. July 11, 2008 we got married. At first I was scared. I questioned everything and didn't know what to think. But as time went on and we lived in our tiny one bedroom apartment we grew a bond. We were always broke with close to no furniture. We lived off of mac n cheese and ramen but we managed. Dave and I never really fought. We rarely disagree on things and even though I had the hardest time committing to Dave, once I did I never looked back! Kyson was born and our love for each other has grown stronger each and every day. Dave and I had such a rough start but I believe that it made us stronger as a couple and as individuals. I asked my mom one day if she thought everything happens for a reason. I didn't get her answer until the next day. She told me that its possible that we got pregnant because we really needed each other. We were both immature and getting pregnant was what made us grow up and settle down. It brought us back into the church and our relationship with everyone around us instantly got better. We both went through a pretty intense repentance process but overcame it and went through the temple together. We were sealed for Time and All Eternity to each other and to baby Kyson. Our testimonies went through the roof and our home is filled with the spirit! I love Dave with all of my heart and I am so glad we're going through this life together. We're not perfect but making mistakes together is what its all about. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is just around the corner and we're so excited. We've never been happier and I am truly blessed to have him as my husband. He is so supportive of me, my wants, and my dreams. He always puts me first and will put aside anything to make me happy. He makes me happy and I still melt when he tells me I'm beautiful. I still get giddy on our dates and we still flirt like we did on our first date. Our love is real and everlasting and I'm so glad we'll be together for eternity!! I love you Dave, forever and ever babe!! :)

That's my story in a nutshell (sort of) Congratulations if you read it from start to finish, you should probably receive a prize of some kind! It was really hard for me to open up like that and relive those memories but when I really think about it, its not so hard after all! I'm 100% over my ex's and after being with my husband for this long I can talk about them without stirring up old feelings! I left out a ton of personal details but if you would like to know more please don't hesitate to ask. I've grown into a strong woman!! :)

I love you all!


  1. Denise I am so happy for you and Dave. You have such a beautiful family. I total wish I have done things different, like be a better friend and being there for you. Some of this stuff I didn't know. Thank you for sharing your story.

  2. I miss you Madison! Next time I'm in St George we need to get together and go on a double date with our men and talk hair!! :)


Thanks for making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!! :)