Dear blogger world,
It's time for me to come clean. To stop pretending that everything is fine and to let all my new friends what my life is and has been for quite some time now. After all, that's what friends do! I'm a little nervous that some of you may not want to be my friend anymore, some might judge me and disagree with me, and some just wont understand! I've gotten so good at hiding it and putting on a fake smile for a picture. I didn't want to believe what was happening but over the weekend my prayers were answered. I felt a peace come over me that I've never felt before, a feeling of comfort and reassurance that what I'm doing is the best thing for me. There's a time when you have to put what's best for your child aside and do what's best for you. At first that piece of advice sounded so selfish and wrong. But after days, weeks, and months it started to sound less and less selfish. There is only so much one human being can take. Too much unhappiness and heartbreak. Too much anger and depression.
The husband and I are starting Marriage Counseling this week. Our marriage has been on the rocks for quite some time now! Surprising? I know, we are good at hiding it. But I can't hide it anymore, since it was my idea for the big 'D'. A while ago I was asked if I'd rather live a life with someone I'm unhappy with or live the rest of my life alone. That question hasn't left my mind since it was asked so many weeks ago. I woke up Sunday morning knowing exactly what I wanted and what I needed to do. I need to better my life, for me. I need to focus on my relationship with the Lord. He is my rock!
When I started this blog I only had a few close friends following me, and now I have over 50. That's nothing compared to most of your blogs but it's a great feeling that so many people around the world care. I've never met most of you and some day maybe we will meet in person and become life long friends. I would love that! Friends are what I need right now. I need people who will support and love me while I go through this process. It's going to be a long, hard, stressful process! And I'm sure my blog will show it. But doesn't everyone deserve a chance at happiness? I thought so and that's what I'm trying to do for myself. Be happy!
We all need to be happy. With or without someone there by our side. For me right now, I guess it's without.
The Lord is my Rock
Awe Denise, I'm so sorry things have so tough lately!! You'll definitely get lots of love and support from your bloggy friends!
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage to be so honest and to be willing to try marriage counseling. I think that every couple (whether the relationship is good or not so good) would benefit from counseling. I know I've wondered if we should try it sometime.
Anyway if you ever need a friend you know where to find me :)
i am so sorry, but i do believe we are so much alike i am going through the same thing and actually he made me answer the question i needed to know when he showed his true colors..dont let anyone tell you differently you deserve to be happy and things will get better, and you will not be alone you have friends family and a handsome little boy, just stay strong and i am here if you need me :)
ReplyDeleteHey girl. I just started following you recently and am so sad to see a post like this! BUT we ALL go through this time where it just seems so.. blah. My husband and I will be married 2 years a week from today and we have had our ups but sure have had our downs too. And like courtney said, I think all couples could better their relationships by going to marriage counseling. Not just those who are in a tough spot. We will be praying for you and your husband. Just seek HIM and he will show you all of the answers, I promise!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever need to talk my email is whitneymichelletomlin@gmail.com :)
Denise, I've been reading your blog for a long time, and I love all the updates and how real and honest you are. I hope that you find the happiness that you are looking for!!
ReplyDeletei just recently started reading your blog and i love all of your posts and your sweet personality! you are very brave for being so honest and open. it's so awesome that you are both willing to work on it! marriage is not easy and i think marriage counseling can only help. good luck with everything girl!
ReplyDeleteThats such a hard place to be in. I can understand what you are going through. It's really tough, but just continue to pray and I know our God will guide you! You made a great choice in starting marriage counseling. Try the best you can to save your marriage! I will be praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless!
Wow, I really think it's amazing that you are being so honest with everyone!! I will be praying for healing for y'all! I think marriage counseling is a great step. And constantly be in prayer.
ReplyDeleteGirl if anyone would not be your friend over that you better tell me and I will punch them in the face. You need to look at what you're doing as an amazing thing. You are choosing to fight for your marriage and TRY to work through it rather than walk away. Do you know how easy it is to walk - but yet you stay to make it work? That shows what type of person you are - and that is amazing. It is always great to be closer to God, too. He will strengthen you through anything. Praying and thinking of you babe! XOXO
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ReplyDeleteFirst of all, don't ever be nervous to share these real life things! Life is hard!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs Denise! I am so so sorry to hear this news, but can I tell you, I have been there. No, my marriage is not perfect either. we went through hard struggles, counseling, etc, so if you ever need to chat, cry, vent, please feel free to shoot me an email.
I will be praying for you and your family!
♥ Kyna
praying for you two. you are making a huge but great step for choosing marriage counseling. i appuald you for wanting to make things work. my sister and her husband are currently going through a divorce and its the hardest thing i've ever seen her have to do but she has her sweet son and God to help her and things are getting better. Never let your faith bring you down and follow your heart!
ReplyDeleteah girl, i totally look up to you for being so transparent! we need a little more transparent-ness in the blogging world :) i really hope and pray that the marriage counseling goes well for you and your husband. praying that He will give you His sweet peace and grace!
ReplyDeleteThat's really brave of you to come out and just be upfront. It is so therapeutic to get things off our chests and let the world know how we really feel. I'm sorry for what you're going through but I support you and the choices you make, even if we don't know each other. I hope the marriage counseling helps whether it's to make your marriage work or help you go separate ways.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some words of advice to offer or encouragement. All I can tell you is that you are not going through this alone. You've prayed and Heavenly Father is there to wrap his arms around you and help both of you through whatever choices you end up making. Sometimes He seems to far away. He seems so desperately far away when I am in the darkest of places. BUT, He is there. Ultimately, He is listening and will offer you a shoulder to cry on and arms to hold you. "When life gets to hard to stand, kneel."
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ReplyDeletemarriage counseling saved my relationship and even if it hadn't, it would still have been an amazing experience. It is very brave to go to counseling and if I could offer advice it would be this : do not automatically say no to things your counseler suggests that you might usually say no to. Be really open through the process (unless you don't feel like the counseler is a good fit) and be honest. If it ends up things don't work out, you'll still walk away knowing more about yourself and your boundaries when it comes to relationships.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and i'll be sending thoughts of support your way :)
--Erinn
I haven't shared much about the downs in my relationship, but they are definitely there. We plan on going to counseling at some point to to rid ourselves of the demons that are tearing at our relationship. We can go through this together! I mean it. Let me know any old time, lady. You know where to find me and I'd be happy to hear you out whenever. Much love!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been married 20 years and we've gone through a lot in that time. We both had a lot of growing up to do and guess what? We're STILL growing! ;) We have three beautiful children and even after some rough times we've managed to keep it together. I hope your counseling will be beneficial to you both and that you will both agree to hang in there and work it out. You won't regret it. Keep looking to the Lord for the strength and wisdom you need and don't stop praying, it's a lifeline to God!
ReplyDeleteI just emailed you and just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it helped me a lot to finally write on my blog about my situation. I'm here for you, sweet girl! Stay strong!
ReplyDeletethis is so brave of you to post. counseling can do wonders, and i think it's incredible that you're willing to put in the work to fix things, as opposed to just giving up. stay close to the Lord, and He'll help you through it. i've found this to be so important during my times of trial. know you have a lot of people that care about you!
ReplyDeleteanna
www.embracethesunshine.blogspot.com
I just stumbled on your blog tonight, and it looks like we have a lot in common. Hoping things are well with you!
ReplyDeleteHey girl! I'm so sorry to hear about this! I'm finally catching up now so sorry this is late! Don't worry or care what other people say or tell you, do what's best for you and your little boy, you know what the right thing is to do. We are all here to support you no matter what! Sorry I could write more but I'm on my phone now. Let me know if you need anything! Cheer up girl! You ate doing the right thing and it will make you stronger!
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ReplyDeleteDenise! Sorry! I make a mistake in my last comment. I am so sorry to hear that! Marriage is hard! I know! Thanks for being so honest and sharing what is really going on in your life. I like when blogs keep it real! So thank you so much! Counseling can be a powerful thing. Just keep the Lord as your rock and you will know what to do!
ReplyDeleteDenise! I know I am a bit late on commenting on this yet I am slowly and surely reading your blog through-out! but i just want to say you have so much courage to talk about this & i love the idea that you are willing to be so open! I just wanted to know how did marriage counseling work or if your still in the process? My fiance and I are thinking of doing pre-marriage counseling yet he is kinda bitter sweet with the idea. but just remember keep the Lord as your rock and remember he never gives you anything he knows you can not handle!
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