on having multiple kids

*This post is all over the place. Consider yourself warned!*

When I was pregnant with Kyson I was terrified! It's no secret that he was an unplanned pregnancy. Dave and I were both so excited for our baby to arrive but it didn't change the fact that we were so unprepared mentally and emotionally. We were only 21 years old and far from mature enough to care for a new baby! But we did it, and we thrived! Now Kyson is just a week away from turning F I V E!! The first two years were a breeze. He was such an easy baby. Ate everything we stuck in front of him, only cried when he needed something, slept 12-14 hours a night, and he was so content with playing with toys while I cleaned the house! We had our daily routine down to an art! But then the day Kyson turned 2 everything changed!! He randomly started refusing to eat anything and began his terrible two's overnight! It was so stressful and it left me in tears more times than I'd like to admit! It's so hard having a toddler that won't eat anything yet they cry because they're hungry. Dave and I were so stressed out that we quickly wrote off having anymore kids! We agreed that we would be a one child family. Dramatic much?

About a year later things started looking up. He started eating better, communicating better and things were less stressful. Then, he quit sleeping through the night. He would wake up 5-6 times every. single. night. It was exhausting! We tried everything from no sugars, to no t.v., to putting a nightlight in his room. We even bought him a big new bed. Nothing worked and we were at a loss. We tried talking to his doctor, trying Melatonin and even spent more time playing outside to wear him out. Nothing. Nada. Zip. After an entire year of dealing with it we finally just got used to it. Then he decided to get this outrageous attitude. Our four year old was a mean boy. So mean that I would cry myself to sleep. I would pray every night and plead with the Lord to help me figure out how to help him. I just wanted my sweet boy back. I wanted to sleep and I wanted to not have to fight with my son at every meal! It was hard. Really hard! Have I mentioned how hard it was? Ha!

(can I just point out how long my freaking hair used to be? I think I need to invest in some extensions!)

Dave and I prayed a lot for comfort and answers on how to handle Kyson. We asked advice from friends and family and everyone said the same thing. "Have more kids!" This was definitely not what we wanted to hear because how in the world could we handle another child when Kyson was already such a handful?! We took it to the Lord again and felt that was what we needed to do. So we decided to expand our family! We started trying and thought we'd have to problem getting pregnant. After a month of not getting pregnant we didn't worry about it. Then another month went by. And then another. And another. We were so confused why we weren't getting pregnant! Isn't this what we're supposed to do? After talking to the doctor about why I wasn't pregnant and being reassured that it could take up to a year we decided to just be patient and let nature take its course. The next day I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! Finally!!

(I promise we had more good times than bad with Kyson. We smiled and laughed more than we frowned and cried. We love him more than anything!!) :)

The whole pregnancy was a breeze. I wasn't sick and we spent the next nine months really bonding with Kyson knowing that it was only a matter of time until he was no longer the only child! The second Presley was born Kyson was humbled. I think. Something changed deep inside of him and he became this loving, kind little boy who was so in love with this tiny baby that he barely knew. He understood that he had a baby sister and he was now a big brother. Words cannot describe the love that came over me for my new family of four. He was so protective of her and was always making sure she was ok. It was heartwarming!

Then Dave went back to work and the real challenge started. Taking care of two kids instead of one is hard. Really hard. Between being exhausted from being up all night, to taking and picking up Kyson from school, to feeding Presley to cooking and cleaning. I was a busy momma! I couldn't believe how hard it was to just get through the day. I was so tired all the time but I couldn't just "sleep when the baby sleeps" because I had another child to take care of. I felt a wave of relief every time I saw Dave's car pull up in the driveway. I knew that help was just seconds away and maybe I cold catch a ten minute nap. But then the nightly routine started. Prepare dinner, bathe the kids,clean up the kitchen. It was a never ending cycle that kicked my butt every day. I went weeks without doing my hair and makeup!

It took me three months to get a routine down, to get my energy back and to feel less stressed! Everyone I've talked to said one baby is hard, two babies is really hard and every kids after that is easy. Kyson has been such a big helper to me though. He gets me diapers, wipes, burp clothes when I need them. He cleans up spit up when my hands are full and tries to calm Presley when she's crying. He's such a blessing to me! I'm excited to go through all the same hard times with Presley as we did with Kyson because now that I've been through it and have some experience I think I'll be able to handle it better. (here's to hoping!) Having two kids is hard work. Constant hard work! But 110% worth it!! I love my kids so much it hurts. I'm so happy that our prayers were answered the way they were. I cannot imagine life without Presley or Kyson! And I'm so glad we decided to have a second baby. Kyson and Presley are my entire world, they make up my entire heart! Being their Mom is the greatest blessing I've ever received! I love watching them learn and grow. I love how Kyson gets so excited about showing me his schoolwork and I love how excited Presley gets whenever she sees Kyson. She loves Kyson! She gets the biggest smile on her face when we pick him up from school. She just stares at him, and smiles, and kicks her little legs. It's the sweetest thing! Even thought times as a mom get really hard it's my favorite thing in the world. I love being a wife, daughter, sister, aunt etc.. But being a Mom is my favorite role! I love when my kids want me when they get hurt. I love when they want to snuggle me when they're scared. I love when they grab my leg when they're feeling shy. I have two little besties for life and I'm they're biggest fan. My love for them will do nothing but grow!!